A Safe Space | May 2022
Dear Amarillo College faculty and staff,
A quick personal thing about me – our youngest child, our son, is graduating from high school this month and heading off to college in Abilene, TX in August. While we’re obviously excited for him, right now is a busier, more stressful season that comes with the ending of the semester and of a season of life. We have a chock-full schedule, a checking account that is draining more quickly, lots of hosting and gathering, and a LONG list of things to do.
When I’m in a season like this, I find myself putting these emotional markers out there, saying things internally like ‘If we can just get through graduation…’, or ‘Things will calm down once we move him to college.’ I think it’s natural to look at these hills that we’re climbing and to think that getting over this one and on the downhill side will feel so much better and will give us the emotional boost that we need to keep going until that marker comes. ‘If I can get to the end of the semester…’, ‘Once I can get to retirement…’, etc.
I wonder if this is part of the struggle with continuing to navigate the world we currently live in — pandemic, political gridlock, national and international crises — situations that do not have a clear end in sight. We want so badly to be done and for things ‘to go back to normal.’ And this big question mark that is still out there continues to take a mental toll on us: we’re running a marathon, we’ve hit the wall (a familiar runner’s term), but where is the finish line? Again, we’re trying to put an emotional marker out there, and we really can’t with all of this.
I am an Adam Grant fan. One of his recent quotes says, “The ‘arrival fallacy’ is the illusion that joy lies at a destination ahead. Achieving a goal is not like walking through a portal. You don’t magically become happier when you graduate, get promoted, or win an award. The best way to improve your well-being is to change your path.” This is a helpful reminder that our overall health and wellness may be predicated more by our habits and practice than if or when we ‘arrive’ at something, whether it is a welcomed, positive success or a difficulty that’s alleviated like the pandemic.
There’s actually some really good news here because it is our practice that is the one and only thing that we can control anyway. The hard but needed gift of the past couple of years is that it lifted the illusion of control that we mostly lived under. We certainly can’t control most of the big things of the world, but neither can we control others nor many of the outcomes of life. What we can control is how we take care of ourselves, the ways we begin and end the day, how we choose to respond to people and circumstances, how we curate our media, how we make time for silence and rest, how we invest in meaningful work and in relationships with family and friends, and how we serve and bless others.
So, think about a healthy practice that you could include and guard in your life. Or conversely, is there a less-than-healthy habit that you could release or transform into a healthy one? Let’s clarify and be attentive to our practice. And let’s trust the wisdom of playing the long game that we will live well and that things will be OK – beyond whatever circumstances we find ourselves in – because of how we choose to practice life today.
Congratulations on the conclusion of the Spring semester, and I hope that summer is restful and renewing for you and your family.
Adam Gray
PS — I will continue to be at all campuses throughout the summer and am always available if there is anything that I can do for you.
chaplain@actx.edu
(806) 282-5263
