Remember: Solids on the left, liquids on the right.
On your left, your salad plate and bread and butter plate (above your fork)
On your right, your drink (above your spoon)
Always use your silverware from the outside in.
For two forks, the outside fork is for salad and the fork closest to the plate is for your main course. The silverware will be removed as you finish each course.
For three forks, the third fork outside the salad fork for appetizers. Usually no more than three utensils are placed on each side of the place setting.
For four forks, the fourth fork is placed above the plate and is usually for dessert and/or for coffee to be served with dessert.
As soon as everyone is seated, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap, folded, with the fold toward you.
If you need to leave the table, place your napkin on your chair (folded loosely, not wadded.)
After the meal is over, you should place your napkin on the table to the left side of your plate (but not on your plate.)
If your napkin falls on the floor and it is within easy reach, retrieve it.
If you are unable to retrieve the napkin without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one.
If water is on the table as you are seated, it is appropriate to sip your water after everyone is seated, and after you have placed your napkin in your lap.
For other beverages and foods, wait until everyone has been served, and do not eat until your host has begun eating.
Do not help yourself to the bread basket and other communal foods until your host has indicated you may do so.
If the host asks you to start eating, you should comply with the request.
During the meal, water, soft drinks, or iced tea are safe choices.
It is best not to order alcohol even if the host does. You want to remain sharp and responsive.
After the meal, coffee or hot tea is okay if this is offered, and if time allows.Simple foods that are easily eaten with a fork and knife. (meats, simple salads and soups)
Avoid messy foods - i.e., spaghetti or other things with red sauce, huge deli sandwiches, or greasy hand-held items like pizza
Sometimes you may not have a choice, and in those moments, it is best to follow your host's lead.
If you know the menu in advance, you can let your host know ahead of time that you cannot eat a certain food. Be pleasant about your request, and apologize for any inconvenience. This allows your host to make arrangements for you.
If food you cannot eat is served to you at a meal, simply leave it. Be discreet and pleasant if you are asked why you are not eating.
In a restaurant where you are ordering from the menu, you can explain any allergies discreetly to your server. Again, be pleasant and don't call attention to yourself or make this a topic of conversation.
Be polite and appreciative. Never criticize or state a dislike of food that is served to you. This can be insulting to your host.
Simply eat the foods you do like, and make an attempt to taste unfamiliar foods.
If you are asked point-blank if you like something, and it would be an obvious untruth to say you do, say something gracious like, "It's different," or "I'm not accustomed to this flavor, but I'm glad for the opportunity to try it."By taking very small bites, so you can quickly finish and swallow the bite before speaking.
Never speak with food in your mouth. You may not have much time to eat if you are being asked a lot of questions; remember that the main point of the meal is to interact and eating is secondary.
You can initiate asking your host questions so that the conversation is more balanced, and you have more time to eat.
Don't eat too quickly, and don't attempt to hurriedly scarf down all your food. A large, hurriedly-eaten meal can make you drowsy and uncomfortable.
Dip your spoon away from yourself into the soup bowl to fill your spoon with soup, and then place the edge of the spoon on your lower lip to carefully transfer the soup from spoon to mouth.
Do not place the entire spoonbowl inside your mouth.
Do rest your spoon periodically.
When in doubt, eat with a utensil rather than with your fingers.
Even those foods (like french fries) that you may eat by hand at home. If something is served on a plate, you should use utensils. Chicken, or any other meat with a bone, is not finger food; you should use a knife and fork.
You can excuse yourself from the table by saying, "Excuse me"; you do not need to offer an explanation, and you should not state that you are going to the restroom or attending to personal matters (that is an inappropriate topic of conversation during a meal).
If you must leave during the meal, you can indicate whether you are finished eating through proper placement of your utensils. Ten and four o'clock (handles at four, knife blade toward you) indicates you are finished. Three o'clock to center (handles at three) indicates you are not finished. Do not rest utensils or utensil handles on the table.You can usually catch their eye, but if not, you may ask a nearby server.
If the matter is not urgent, wait until the server checks at the table to make sure everything is okay; be discreetly on the lookout for the server to do so, so you won't be caught with your mouth full.
Avoid getting up from the table to hunt someone down.
If the food falls on the floor, leave it and don't step on it.
If the food falls on the table, and it is a big piece, use your fork and move it to a corner of your plate. Otherwise, let it be.Be subtle and quiet. Do not bring it to the attention of everyone at the table and do not embarrass the person.
If it is someone of importance, you may not want to cause them any embarrassment; so let it go.